BiB: Gigi Perez – From Losing Her Record Deal to Going Viral Again (Her Wild Comeback Story!)

1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,200
What is going on? It is Adam. Welcome back to Bringing It Backwards, a podcast

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,840
where both legendary and rising artists tell their own personal stories

3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,600
of how they achieve stardom. On this episode, we had

4
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,160
a chance to catch up with Gigi Perez over

5
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,880
Zoom Video. We had Gigi on over two years ago

6
00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,680
now. The first time we had her on, she didn't even have out

7
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,720
the ep how to Catch a Falling Knife. I think

8
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:28,520
Figurines maybe was the most. Recent single at the time, so she

9
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:32,100
hadn't even announced the episode. So it's really cool to kind of. Catch up with

10
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:35,580
Gigi. Really picked up where we left off. She talked a lot about that,

11
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:39,260
that ep, how to Catch a Falling Knife, what it was like to

12
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:43,460
lose her deal with the record label she was on at the time, and

13
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,620
how that really pushed her to move back in with her parents and

14
00:00:46,940 --> 00:00:50,740
learn how to engineer and record herself, and that's what

15
00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:54,140
she's done for this new album. So Gigi talks to us

16
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:58,060
about the process of this new album, obviously the

17
00:00:58,060 --> 00:01:01,710
success of the song Sailor, and really everything she's gone through over the

18
00:01:01,710 --> 00:01:05,390
past two and a half years. Now you can watch the interview

19
00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:09,150
with Gigi on our Facebook page and YouTube channel at bringing it Backwards. It'd be

20
00:01:09,150 --> 00:01:12,630
amazing. If you subscribe to our channel, like us on Facebook,

21
00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:16,350
follow us on Instagram, Twitter and Tik Tok at Bringing back

22
00:01:16,350 --> 00:01:19,910
pod. And if you're listening to this on Spotify, Apple Music, Google

23
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:23,470
Podcasts, please rate and review the podcast. It helps us out

24
00:01:23,470 --> 00:01:27,270
tremendously. We'd appreciate your support. If you follow and

25
00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:31,040
subscribe to our podcasts, we're Wherever you listen to podcasts. We'Re

26
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:33,840
Bringing It Backwards with Gigi Perez.

27
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:42,160
Bringing it backwards.

28
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:49,520
Bringing it backwards. Bringing it backwards.

29
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:53,200
Bringing it backwards. Bringing it backward.

30
00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:57,120
Bringing it backward. Hi, Gigi. How are

31
00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,310
you? Good, how are you? Sorry, my wi fi in this hotel

32
00:02:00,550 --> 00:02:04,230
doesn't work at all. I don't know why. So

33
00:02:04,230 --> 00:02:08,030
I'm. I'm on the awesome iPhone camera. It looks

34
00:02:08,030 --> 00:02:11,430
great. How are you doing? I'm great. Thank you so much

35
00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:15,430
for doing this again. Of course. It's been so long.

36
00:02:15,830 --> 00:02:19,270
I know. It's been a couple of years, I think.

37
00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:23,820
Yeah. I want to say, I think it was like

38
00:02:23,820 --> 00:02:27,580
November, just 2022 when we last

39
00:02:27,580 --> 00:02:30,500
spoke. I think Figurines was out. You didn't have the EP out. Nothing.

40
00:02:31,220 --> 00:02:35,020
Wow, that's crazy. Yeah. So a lot to catch up

41
00:02:35,020 --> 00:02:37,620
on. I'm excited. Yes. Yes, for sure.

42
00:02:38,500 --> 00:02:41,820
Awesome. Well, you kind of know the drill. We got your backstory in the first

43
00:02:41,820 --> 00:02:45,660
interview, really about how you got into music and everything. But just. I'm

44
00:02:45,660 --> 00:02:48,180
going to recap it a little bit and then kind of pick up where we

45
00:02:48,180 --> 00:02:51,540
left off and obviously talk about the album and everything else.

46
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:55,860
Awesome. Cool. So yeah, you're born in Jersey, but you moved

47
00:02:55,860 --> 00:02:58,220
to West Palm Beach, I think at six, Right.

48
00:02:59,260 --> 00:03:02,940
Okay. And then you ended up attending Berkeley School of Music. But

49
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:06,820
I didn't get the story on how you. I know like we were talking about.

50
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,820
I think you said you were like 16, you went to the. The camp. Right.

51
00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:13,580
You went to the Berkeley's camp and. But how did you

52
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,740
actually apply to the school? Did you have to do an audition process? Because I

53
00:03:17,740 --> 00:03:20,810
know a lot of people that went there that had do that. Yeah, some were

54
00:03:20,810 --> 00:03:23,370
like, yeah, they just let me in. Or some were like, oh man, it was

55
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:25,570
the most intense thing ever. Oh my goodness.

56
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:30,370
I get into. How did I get it?

57
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:35,650
I lived for the process. It was so.

58
00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:40,050
Was very stressful. I mean like, you're like 17. You're like. Your life depends

59
00:03:40,050 --> 00:03:42,970
on this. I also knew I wasn't getting into other schools. I was like, I

60
00:03:42,970 --> 00:03:46,690
applied to, um. And I was like, I don't have the SAT score for that.

61
00:03:46,690 --> 00:03:50,330
That's funny. I'm not going to get you. But you wanted to go for music,

62
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:53,990
right? Just in. Yeah. Yeah. But, um, has this, this program

63
00:03:53,990 --> 00:03:57,710
called Frost that I was also interested in. Okay. But Berkeley was like

64
00:03:57,710 --> 00:04:00,910
the dream for me. I was like. When I went there when I was 16,

65
00:04:01,550 --> 00:04:04,830
it was. It was the first time I met, you know,

66
00:04:05,230 --> 00:04:09,030
young gays like me. So I was like, you know, losing

67
00:04:09,030 --> 00:04:12,030
my mind and of course the music.

68
00:04:14,270 --> 00:04:17,960
But the process, if I remember, it's like you

69
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:22,280
prepare for an audition so you.

70
00:04:23,320 --> 00:04:26,840
I don't even think I needed like a resume or like a.

71
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:31,240
I don't think you need. What are those things? Like the college statements or whatever

72
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,960
the heck they're called. Yeah, like a letter recommendation or something like that. Yeah. I

73
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,800
think you do need letter of Rex. And then you. All you might

74
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,480
need like to write your life story or you don't. It was optional.

75
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:45,760
I definitely did it. I was like ready. Or like writing my life story.

76
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,280
And then, you know, for the audition you have to.

77
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,960
It's. There's a. There's a section that is like

78
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,640
identifying intervals. That's one.

79
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:02,800
So I had this app called Tenuto that I always did. And it's like you

80
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,440
could just like identify intervals and all this stuff. I did so well in that

81
00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:10,120
audition that they placed me in ear Training, too, which was so bad, it was

82
00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,710
the worst thing. I told him, you got. You guys have the wrong girl. Like,

83
00:05:13,710 --> 00:05:16,750
I'm not supposed to be an ear. Training, too. I don't know how to read

84
00:05:16,750 --> 00:05:20,470
music. Don't put me in your training, too. I just know how to

85
00:05:20,470 --> 00:05:24,190
identify a perfect fifth. So it's.

86
00:05:24,190 --> 00:05:27,910
There's that, you know, you do us. You do two songs of your

87
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:29,950
choice, and then I think one classical piece.

88
00:05:31,950 --> 00:05:35,230
Did you do your own songs? I did, yes. I did

89
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:40,720
this one song that I was obsessed with that I wrote my senior year called

90
00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:43,480
Questions. Okay. And then I

91
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:48,120
sang Vienna by Billy Joel. And then I

92
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,880
think a third thing. And then I think at one point I was singing Anything

93
00:05:51,880 --> 00:05:54,760
Worth Holding on to by Scott Allen. Okay.

94
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:59,040
But that was like, I. So I do the

95
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,120
audition. It was the best time of my life. You also do an interview, so

96
00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,900
they ask you and, you know, question. Like, I. I remember, like,

97
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:09,460
I would answer the questions in the shower. Like, I was so,

98
00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:13,260
like, dead. Yes. Like, and it

99
00:06:13,260 --> 00:06:17,100
wasn't even so much like, I know. And I feel this way anytime I

100
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:20,420
speak to anyone. Like, I don't know. I feel like I have a lot to

101
00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:24,020
say. And so it does feel like there is this just

102
00:06:24,020 --> 00:06:27,460
following the. The flow of, I guess the

103
00:06:27,460 --> 00:06:31,260
intuition. And I really love that because that was the first time I was really

104
00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:34,860
doing that. And I realized how much I liked talking about things,

105
00:06:34,940 --> 00:06:38,540
you know, to people. Like somebody asking me a question, like, oh, yes, let me.

106
00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:42,260
You know. So that was me at, like, 18, and I loved

107
00:06:42,260 --> 00:06:46,020
it. And then I. You, like, sit

108
00:06:46,020 --> 00:06:48,780
in, like, this. This big kind of like

109
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:53,460
cafe room thing. I don't know. I look back at the

110
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:57,140
time, I was like, I feel like I'm so

111
00:06:57,140 --> 00:07:00,960
blessed. I've. I've seen a lot of things by the age of

112
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:04,520
25, and it blows my mind to think about

113
00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:08,520
how incredible and blessed I've been.

114
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,680
And I think back to, like, me at 17, who. You know,

115
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:17,360
I've seen, like, a lot of beaches, but, like, I haven't seen really

116
00:07:17,360 --> 00:07:21,160
the world, if that makes sense. Something like

117
00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:24,960
being in a. In a college room full of kids that are all,

118
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:28,790
like, anxious and sweating because they want to get into their

119
00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:32,630
dream school. And, like, yeah, it was just. It was so exciting. It was

120
00:07:32,630 --> 00:07:36,430
so new, and I loved it. I. I remember

121
00:07:37,070 --> 00:07:40,430
leaving the audition be like, I got in, you know, like, just feeling like I

122
00:07:40,430 --> 00:07:42,750
got. I'm. I'm like, I got in. And then

123
00:07:44,110 --> 00:07:47,190
I think they send you. Like, a letter or something that you got in. Yeah.

124
00:07:47,190 --> 00:07:50,790
That must have been a big day. Yeah, they did, they sent and I

125
00:07:50,790 --> 00:07:54,580
did early action. So I got. I

126
00:07:54,580 --> 00:07:57,860
was like one of the first. One of the first,

127
00:07:58,900 --> 00:08:02,740
I guess, batch of people that got in and that was also like.

128
00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:07,220
Yeah. So that happened. And then I ended up deferring for

129
00:08:07,460 --> 00:08:11,180
a year to save some money, get

130
00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:14,660
a job and you know, try to like not

131
00:08:15,700 --> 00:08:18,980
break the back of the financial break. Oh yeah, 100%.

132
00:08:19,460 --> 00:08:22,830
So I don't understand. It's so expensive. It's crazy.

133
00:08:23,790 --> 00:08:26,910
And so I deferred a year and then I had to re audition

134
00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:30,670
and I was like, okay. Yeah. And I was like, I'll do it again.

135
00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:36,070
I definitely was like, damn, I have to re audition. But that, you

136
00:08:36,070 --> 00:08:39,630
know, I did better the second time. And then, you know,

137
00:08:39,790 --> 00:08:43,630
I went to Berkeley and that was that. Yeah, that's

138
00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:47,310
the audition process. And if anybody needs help getting into Berkeley, I got you.

139
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:51,630
Yeah. Because I've heard so many different stories of it. That's so cool. I mean,

140
00:08:51,630 --> 00:08:54,620
the fact that you played. Did you go in as a songwriting major? Is that

141
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:58,420
what you wanted to do? My, my. So you go in with like

142
00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:02,220
a focus of your instrument and mine was voice. And then I never

143
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:04,300
made it to like actually doing the

144
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:09,220
specialties because it was like eight months in. I

145
00:09:09,220 --> 00:09:12,700
also didn't know how to like declare my major.

146
00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:16,660
It was so complicated. Like, I don't know, like I. Maybe it's just like natural

147
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:20,150
selection, but like I did not know I would go into the

148
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:23,750
college, you know, administration or something, the office.

149
00:09:23,830 --> 00:09:27,630
And I didn't know what

150
00:09:27,630 --> 00:09:30,070
to like. Yeah, I didn't feel like I

151
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:35,390
had the. I don't know if it's that I had the

152
00:09:35,390 --> 00:09:39,030
guidance or that I didn't. Did I apply myself? I don't know.

153
00:09:39,590 --> 00:09:43,110
Sure. Well, I mean, you ended up. You got hit with COVID during your time

154
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:46,220
there and then. Yeah. You had

155
00:09:46,540 --> 00:09:49,540
massive moments on Tick Tock and got signed to a major label. So it was

156
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:53,260
like, that's kind of probably the goal when you graduate.

157
00:09:53,500 --> 00:09:56,540
Yeah. So that worked out.

158
00:10:00,140 --> 00:10:03,700
By now, you may have heard of Hellofresh. I'm sure you've heard of Hellofresh. They

159
00:10:03,700 --> 00:10:07,180
send chef crafted recipes and fresh ingredients to

160
00:10:07,260 --> 00:10:11,020
your home. But this summer, they made their biggest menu

161
00:10:11,020 --> 00:10:14,220
upgrade yet. This isn't the hellofresh you remember.

162
00:10:14,710 --> 00:10:18,550
It's even bigger. Hellofresh has doubled its menu. Now you can choose from over

163
00:10:18,550 --> 00:10:22,270
100 options each week, including new seasonal dishes and recipes

164
00:10:22,270 --> 00:10:26,030
from all around the world. Dig into bigger portions. That'll

165
00:10:26,030 --> 00:10:29,790
keep everyone satisfied. Hellofresh is even healthier. You

166
00:10:29,790 --> 00:10:33,270
can feel great getting top cabana condition. They've got a

167
00:10:33,270 --> 00:10:36,750
healthier menu filled with high protein and veggie packed recipes.

168
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:40,350
HelloFresh now helps you eat greener with new veggie packed

169
00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:44,070
recipes that have two or more veggies. HelloFresh is

170
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:47,750
even tastier. Get steak seafood recipes delivered every week

171
00:10:47,750 --> 00:10:51,550
at no extra cost. That's three times more seafood on

172
00:10:51,550 --> 00:10:55,190
the menu now at no extra cost. Discover new seasonal

173
00:10:55,190 --> 00:10:58,910
produce each week from snap peas to stone fruit to corn on

174
00:10:58,910 --> 00:11:02,750
the cob and more. Hello friends. It's Adam from Bringing

175
00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:06,030
It Backwards. I love hellofresh. I love getting my

176
00:11:06,030 --> 00:11:09,830
hellofresh meal delivered right to my doorstep. I love not having to deal with

177
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:13,270
the grocery store every time I go in there. There's no game plan even if

178
00:11:13,270 --> 00:11:16,170
I have a list. I go in there and I'm just wander wondering about throw

179
00:11:16,170 --> 00:11:18,290
a bunch of stuff in my cart and I get home and I still don't

180
00:11:18,290 --> 00:11:22,090
know what to even make for dinner. Hellofresh makes that so easy. They

181
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:25,770
send the recipes, they send all the ingredients right to my doorstep.

182
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:29,770
I made these delicious fried chicken BLT sandwiches the other day with dill

183
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:33,210
potato salad and lemony greens. It was delicious.

184
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:37,130
So easy to make and it came with everything I needed. Had the

185
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:40,890
sourdough bread, the potatoes, the chicken cutlets,

186
00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:44,650
bacon, sour cream, mayo, everything came right there in the

187
00:11:44,650 --> 00:11:48,270
bag. And like I said, it was absolutely delicious. Delicious. The best way to

188
00:11:48,270 --> 00:11:51,546
cook just got better. Go to hellofresh.com

189
00:11:51,847 --> 00:11:55,550
bib tv10fm now to get

190
00:11:55,550 --> 00:11:59,270
10 free meals and a free item for life. One per box

191
00:11:59,270 --> 00:12:03,030
with active subscription free meals applied as discount on first box.

192
00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:06,778
New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's hellofresh.com

193
00:12:07,015 --> 00:12:10,630
bib tv10fm to get 10 free meals

194
00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:13,620
and a free item for the life.

195
00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:21,260
But yeah, so last time we spoke, like I said we, you we, we, you

196
00:12:21,260 --> 00:12:25,100
know, we talked about, you know, Seline and the viral moment on that song and

197
00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:28,100
obviously you had another follow up moment with

198
00:12:28,100 --> 00:12:31,820
Sometimes and but you had just released

199
00:12:31,820 --> 00:12:35,660
Figurines so I don't know, you know, I kind of want to hear

200
00:12:35,660 --> 00:12:39,500
about. So you put out your first EP in 2023 and

201
00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:43,120
then obviously the new album. So going from

202
00:12:43,120 --> 00:12:46,840
there like just, I guess we'll just pick up with, with that

203
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:50,360
ep. Like tell me, I don't even think you had announced the EP yet. I

204
00:12:50,360 --> 00:12:54,120
think you did after the fact. Yeah, so it's actually crazy

205
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,800
because the EP came out I think two years

206
00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:01,440
ago yesterday. Oh my

207
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:04,960
gosh. So it's like fully the anniversary and then my

208
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:08,650
album came out like three days before that. Two years Friday.

209
00:13:08,650 --> 00:13:12,290
Yeah. Yeah. So it's like none of this is

210
00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:15,970
planned, but it's definitely like a

211
00:13:15,970 --> 00:13:19,650
definite moment of feeling kind of a divine,

212
00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:25,370
good, divine kind of. It's very

213
00:13:25,370 --> 00:13:28,610
different, I think the whole entire process between making my

214
00:13:28,930 --> 00:13:32,730
first CP to yeah. I mean, it's just a different time

215
00:13:32,730 --> 00:13:36,070
in my life. I think that I, you know,

216
00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:39,270
struggled a lot in my first time around, my first project.

217
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:43,350
Granted, there were a lot of incredible experiences that I was having,

218
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:47,430
especially being new to the. The music

219
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:50,550
scene in a more professional context. Like,

220
00:13:52,070 --> 00:13:55,750
I grew up very much like in the indie. In the indie

221
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,790
scene. And getting signed was like,

222
00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:03,240
it was a big deal, you know. And I also told myself when I was

223
00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:06,880
like 19, I was like, I'm never going to do majorly, you

224
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:10,240
know, I'm never selling out, you know,

225
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:15,520
and now I'm just. I'm under different conditions and in terms.

226
00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:19,320
So it's like I don't. I. I haven't sold

227
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,680
out, you know, I don't need to do it. I know, but. You know what

228
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:26,040
I mean? But I think the first time, like, there's a song on my, my

229
00:14:26,040 --> 00:14:29,460
album that just came out called Sleeping and

230
00:14:29,460 --> 00:14:33,140
Sleeping is the second song. Part. Part of it is about

231
00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:37,220
the grief aspect of like, it's. It's basically like

232
00:14:37,380 --> 00:14:40,980
how people treat you

233
00:14:41,540 --> 00:14:45,260
when you're going through grief and like, also how

234
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,980
you feel about yourself when you're going through grief, how you deal with others.

235
00:14:48,980 --> 00:14:52,100
So it's like how others deal with you, how you deal with others. And then

236
00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:55,860
it's also about. In. In the music business,

237
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:59,540
how people deal with you when you're like,

238
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:03,860
I don't know, in a lower moment or like

239
00:15:03,860 --> 00:15:07,540
there's nothing going on with you really, however you'll put it, like, just

240
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:11,380
not your best. How others deal with you,

241
00:15:11,380 --> 00:15:14,900
perceive you, see you, and how you deal with them

242
00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:19,370
versus when you're doing really well and you're. And

243
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:23,090
you're successful or, you know. So I think that it's

244
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:26,930
like for me, there was a lot of resentments that I

245
00:15:26,930 --> 00:15:30,770
had, like feeling like I did, you know, I kind of

246
00:15:30,770 --> 00:15:34,090
entered a machine with no awareness of

247
00:15:34,570 --> 00:15:38,330
what a true, true awareness besides, like, what

248
00:15:38,330 --> 00:15:42,050
you're told to, like, be careful, you know, and like, you

249
00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:45,650
know, all the, all the things that they tell you about it.

250
00:15:45,650 --> 00:15:49,370
But you never know until you really don't know, until you experience it for yourself.

251
00:15:49,870 --> 00:15:53,470
No matter how smart you think you are, no matter how. Who you have around

252
00:15:53,470 --> 00:15:56,750
you. Like, there are just things that just, like, happen so quick

253
00:15:58,270 --> 00:16:02,030
that only now that I've gone through these experiences am I able to

254
00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:06,310
see those things that, you know, I feel like I'm a much more

255
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:09,710
confident and safe position in my life, which is

256
00:16:09,870 --> 00:16:13,550
amazing. But, yeah,

257
00:16:13,550 --> 00:16:16,030
sleeping is definitely about, like, that feeling of, like,

258
00:16:18,330 --> 00:16:22,170
feeling, like, exploited, you know, or just not really,

259
00:16:22,170 --> 00:16:24,010
like, understanding.

260
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:29,210
Not really understanding

261
00:16:32,650 --> 00:16:36,250
or unable to let go of the resentment

262
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,850
that comes with just dealing, like, being in a position

263
00:16:39,850 --> 00:16:43,570
that people. That other people haven't been through, but they're looking

264
00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:46,130
at you. And so there's like, a lot of

265
00:16:46,930 --> 00:16:50,050
resentment. And so I think I was dealing with that, like,

266
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,050
kind of resentment piece for a while at my first.

267
00:16:55,970 --> 00:16:59,010
My first go around, my first deal.

268
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:02,370
And then, you know, I was released

269
00:17:03,410 --> 00:17:07,090
a fishy into the ocean and, you know, I.

270
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:11,660
I found my coral reef, you know. Sure.

271
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,980
Well, it's. It's interesting what you're saying because it's like, yeah, you had.

272
00:17:16,860 --> 00:17:20,580
Coming from. You put a couple. You put your song. You put the

273
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:24,259
song about your sister up or the beginning of it up on Tick Tock and

274
00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:27,900
then it's like, goes viral, like, instantly. Right. I mean, it was like, within

275
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:31,660
minutes, I think you said it had, like 100. Yeah. Views. And then you

276
00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:34,820
follow that up with this. With sometimes. And that's

277
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:39,100
explodes too. And I would imagine, because, you

278
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:42,460
know, you're probably trying to, like, follow that, and then you have, like, people reaching

279
00:17:42,460 --> 00:17:45,860
out. You're new to it. And it's like, now all these big, big

280
00:17:46,180 --> 00:17:49,980
wigs in the industry are like, hey, we want to, you know, be

281
00:17:49,980 --> 00:17:52,900
a part of what you got going on. And I would imagine that's a lot

282
00:17:52,900 --> 00:17:56,660
of pressure going into your first ep, thinking, like, okay, is this also gonna. Is

283
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:59,780
every song gonna hit that way? I mean, I. I mean, I don't know what

284
00:17:59,780 --> 00:18:03,440
you were thinking going into that. Yeah, a thought. I think that,

285
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:07,040
like, I mean, for

286
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,600
me, like, I've never.

287
00:18:12,960 --> 00:18:16,240
There's the natural human

288
00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,680
desire, egos, urges, and then there's

289
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,200
the purity that's in your heart

290
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,890
and they both exist. But I think that

291
00:18:30,250 --> 00:18:33,930
what I know that I look for and what my

292
00:18:33,930 --> 00:18:37,450
purpose is has always been clear to me, even

293
00:18:37,530 --> 00:18:37,930
when

294
00:18:41,290 --> 00:18:45,130
I've been struggling a lot, I guess, with purpose in the last two years of

295
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:49,010
what that means when I don't really know what I believe in and having a

296
00:18:49,010 --> 00:18:52,770
worldview, because I feel like a lot of things start there or in

297
00:18:52,770 --> 00:18:56,300
my life. Growing up, I felt that they did. I had a strong Sense of

298
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:59,860
purpose. Until my sister passed away.

299
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,860
Sure. And. But

300
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:07,220
when it comes to like, just, I guess, a smaller

301
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:10,900
version of the purpose when it comes to music, I know that it's.

302
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,820
For me, I enjoy connecting with others.

303
00:19:15,220 --> 00:19:18,860
That helps me feel less isolated. They feel less isolated. That

304
00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:22,670
goes down to the one person. So I'm here for the one person,

305
00:19:23,310 --> 00:19:26,190
not for, you know, the

306
00:19:26,430 --> 00:19:30,270
hundreds, thousands, millions. It's. The

307
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:33,910
individual is. Is the most important thing. I think, of

308
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:37,390
course, you necessarily can't. You can't, like,

309
00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:41,070
provide for yourself and, like, be able to sustain your life with, like,

310
00:19:41,390 --> 00:19:44,950
one person. So there's like, that kind of

311
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,400
balance, like, of me

312
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,360
knowing that what I really care about and then, yes, the.

313
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,560
The like, I hope that this can, you

314
00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:01,280
know, be consistent and

315
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:05,080
those things, like, battling each other. And I think that was a lot of my

316
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,680
first. My first

317
00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:12,760
time, you know, we had first. First project, we'll call it.

318
00:20:13,020 --> 00:20:16,660
It just was kind of valuing those things because I think, like,

319
00:20:16,660 --> 00:20:20,380
granted, I think if I just. And there's no going back and I

320
00:20:20,380 --> 00:20:23,740
would not change a thing about it, but if I just kept putting out music,

321
00:20:24,620 --> 00:20:27,420
you know, like, I didn't put out music for a year and a half, of

322
00:20:27,420 --> 00:20:31,260
course, like, nothing like, oh, really? Oh, you

323
00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:34,900
got. You know what I mean? Because of the situation, probably with the record

324
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:38,700
deal and all the other things. Yes. But it's like, dude, why would

325
00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:42,390
you tell me that? Girl, tell me, go on my voicemail and

326
00:20:42,390 --> 00:20:46,150
post another one. It's not that deep. Like, it's literally not

327
00:20:46,150 --> 00:20:49,910
that serious. Like, I was a new artist. All you need to do is put

328
00:20:49,910 --> 00:20:53,230
one foot in front of the other. Like, I could be. I can be an

329
00:20:53,230 --> 00:20:56,910
artist manager. I could be a lawyer. Like, I'm not playing. Like,

330
00:20:57,150 --> 00:20:59,790
it's not even. Like, it's kind of crazy what I think about it. I was

331
00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:02,990
like, yeah, T didn't put out music for a year and a half. Like, that's

332
00:21:02,990 --> 00:21:04,830
crazy. Anyway,

333
00:21:07,010 --> 00:21:10,850
I didn't. And I think that, you know, outside of even that, when you

334
00:21:10,850 --> 00:21:14,570
go from like, yes, I had. I had my

335
00:21:14,570 --> 00:21:18,250
band, Wendy Lane in high school. And like, that was like our. Our indie

336
00:21:18,250 --> 00:21:22,089
dream pop thing that we did. Oh, okay. I don't think we talked about

337
00:21:22,089 --> 00:21:25,650
that last time. That's cool. Oh, yeah. So we were in high school.

338
00:21:26,290 --> 00:21:29,650
Aiden, he worked on. He co produced on this project. And then

339
00:21:29,890 --> 00:21:33,370
Coco, who's shot the sailor song video, we were all in a band together

340
00:21:33,690 --> 00:21:37,250
called Wendy Lane. And it was very indie dream pop.

341
00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:41,050
Like, very kind of beach house inspired. Mac

342
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,850
DeMarco team Impala. This is like 2017. So

343
00:21:44,850 --> 00:21:48,530
like we were, we were really cool, but like,

344
00:21:48,530 --> 00:21:52,210
we felt really cool, but, you know, we, we were

345
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:55,930
really coming into like the wonders of music

346
00:21:56,010 --> 00:21:58,920
and, you know, creating and that kind of stuff.

347
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:03,480
And so we had that going for us. It's just, you know, they were a

348
00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:07,040
year older than me, so they went off to school. It became a little

349
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,640
harder. And so we never really, we never really got to

350
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:14,200
like put together the album we

351
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:17,960
wanted to, but we, we had, we definitely

352
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,680
had a pretty big

353
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,240
following. Like I. And I don't even know how it happened because I don't know

354
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,620
how the Internet and discovery worked in

355
00:22:28,620 --> 00:22:32,420
2016 or

356
00:22:32,420 --> 00:22:35,940
2017 because I just wasn't thinking about that then. Sure.

357
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:40,180
So I don't know how discovery worked back then, but

358
00:22:40,180 --> 00:22:43,540
we, I think we had like, maybe like almost like

359
00:22:43,540 --> 00:22:47,380
200,000 monthly listeners, you know, and we just

360
00:22:47,380 --> 00:22:50,940
like made that like. And I remember we were so

361
00:22:50,940 --> 00:22:53,300
excited, I think, because it would get picked up on like,

362
00:22:54,860 --> 00:22:58,620
like Reddit and like indie forums, band camp, that kind of

363
00:22:58,620 --> 00:23:02,420
stuff. So like there were. It was really, really awesome. But that

364
00:23:02,420 --> 00:23:06,140
was like, you know, a very, a different

365
00:23:06,140 --> 00:23:08,700
experience from like going into the,

366
00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:13,780
you know, the world of like, okay, we're sitting down

367
00:23:13,780 --> 00:23:17,540
with the major label, we're putting out this, this thing. And also there was

368
00:23:17,540 --> 00:23:20,860
just so much, just, there was so much of a learning as far as like,

369
00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:24,460
what did, what did

370
00:23:25,980 --> 00:23:29,660
my taste, my true taste as an artist sound like outside

371
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:33,420
of like a band context, outside of anything. So

372
00:23:33,420 --> 00:23:36,420
I think it's just your project, right? I mean, you're not in a band. Yeah,

373
00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:40,060
they're really opinions and it's just you and what you want to be and

374
00:23:40,060 --> 00:23:43,740
sound like. Yeah. So there was just a lot of learning

375
00:23:44,060 --> 00:23:47,610
really that needed to. To

376
00:23:47,610 --> 00:23:50,890
happen. And you know, I think that

377
00:23:52,410 --> 00:23:55,690
it's one of those things that just takes the course of

378
00:23:56,570 --> 00:23:58,330
time for you to see and

379
00:24:01,130 --> 00:24:04,810
learn from, you know. So there's some things that you could say

380
00:24:04,810 --> 00:24:08,650
like, yeah, that was definitely just the music business being the music business.

381
00:24:09,210 --> 00:24:12,210
But then there's another piece of it that's like, that was just a 20 year

382
00:24:12,210 --> 00:24:15,560
old being a 20 year old trying to figure out

383
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,680
who they are, you know, in the wake of going through like the

384
00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:23,480
biggest heartbreak of grief, you know. So

385
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:27,240
there were a lot of happening, different factors. Yeah. It was like your

386
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:31,000
uncle, your grandparents, like your sister. Then you got broken up with.

387
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:34,680
It was like you just were getting, then covet. It was left. Yeah.

388
00:24:34,840 --> 00:24:38,520
Just getting rushed. It was like, geez, I know It's.

389
00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:42,160
It's crazy. It's definitely crazy to look back on and then,

390
00:24:42,160 --> 00:24:44,700
like, I think with, like,

391
00:24:46,460 --> 00:24:50,060
everything now and, you know, I ended up moving back

392
00:24:50,060 --> 00:24:53,820
home after I was released from my record label. I was

393
00:24:53,820 --> 00:24:57,580
like. I was in London at the time. Oh, wow. I got the call, and

394
00:24:57,580 --> 00:25:01,260
I was like, oh, my God, I'm done.

395
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:05,180
I'm done for it. Yeah. Did you feel like your. The career was

396
00:25:05,180 --> 00:25:08,220
over at that point, or did you. Or was that not a part of that?

397
00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:12,490
I think it was in the sense of, like, the. The I.

398
00:25:12,570 --> 00:25:16,330
Whatever I thought that I was gonna experience, like, I was like,

399
00:25:16,330 --> 00:25:19,610
yeah, that's just like. I'm like, all of you are

400
00:25:19,850 --> 00:25:23,690
crazy. I'm getting out of here. Like,

401
00:25:23,690 --> 00:25:27,490
you know, I'm just gonna learn how to record and

402
00:25:27,490 --> 00:25:31,210
produce. That was my goal. I was like, I don't have. I was like.

403
00:25:31,210 --> 00:25:34,120
And truly, I still feel this way. I would rather sing in a box. Like,

404
00:25:34,120 --> 00:25:37,840
I literally would rather be at the cafe

405
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:41,520
and I told myself this than, like, ever feel

406
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,480
the way that I did before in the sense of, like,

407
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,440
ever feel that constrained

408
00:25:49,919 --> 00:25:52,640
and ever feel that,

409
00:25:56,320 --> 00:25:56,720
like,

410
00:25:59,610 --> 00:26:02,730
disposable, you know, lack of value,

411
00:26:03,050 --> 00:26:06,890
whatever you want to phrase it. I think. I mean, it's different now because I

412
00:26:06,890 --> 00:26:09,850
spent a year kind of reconnecting completely with

413
00:26:11,370 --> 00:26:15,210
my. My family, my friends, my. My life. Like, my

414
00:26:15,210 --> 00:26:18,570
life. Not the life that I was, like, trying to.

415
00:26:20,890 --> 00:26:22,490
Not the life that I was trying to.

416
00:26:29,930 --> 00:26:33,250
Trying to have. I don't know how to explain it. I think when I was

417
00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:36,930
younger, I just kind of had a lot of expectations of

418
00:26:36,930 --> 00:26:40,730
what it is to be an artist. You know what I

419
00:26:40,730 --> 00:26:44,170
mean? Like, I. I remember, like, if we're speaking, like,

420
00:26:45,130 --> 00:26:46,810
even backward times, like,

421
00:26:48,970 --> 00:26:51,700
I was. It. It really was. I

422
00:26:52,980 --> 00:26:56,780
struggled a lot with, you know, imposter syndrome and

423
00:26:56,780 --> 00:26:58,980
also embarrassment

424
00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:03,380
one, I think, because, you know, I just got out of the period of time

425
00:27:03,380 --> 00:27:07,180
where my sister passed away. And, you know, when my sister passed away,

426
00:27:07,180 --> 00:27:10,180
like, our family, like, we knew a lot of people,

427
00:27:10,660 --> 00:27:14,380
and it was like a giant flashlight shine on us. And,

428
00:27:14,380 --> 00:27:17,780
like, everybody feels bad for you, and everybody talks about you, and

429
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,560
they just feel like that poor family, you know?

430
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,960
And then you have, like, a moment of

431
00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:29,160
glitter, and it's like, everything looks really great. They're, like, all so excited.

432
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:33,520
And then everything after that is just so underwhelming and

433
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:37,320
anticlimactic. And, like, everybody's kind

434
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:40,040
of like, oh, that's kind of, like, interesting. Like, you know,

435
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:44,440
like, she doesn't, like, get engagement. It sounds stupid,

436
00:27:44,940 --> 00:27:48,060
but in, like, my 20 year old head, it was kind of like

437
00:27:49,580 --> 00:27:51,340
I felt this need to like,

438
00:27:53,340 --> 00:27:55,580
live out a dream.

439
00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:00,780
Not even for myself, but for my sister because she was an opera singer

440
00:28:01,180 --> 00:28:04,780
and she always wanted to do it. Like, she was very much like

441
00:28:04,780 --> 00:28:08,380
the, she's like very much

442
00:28:08,380 --> 00:28:11,510
the. Like.

443
00:28:14,070 --> 00:28:17,550
Well, she was in like musical theater and everything. Right. That's what. Yeah, she like,

444
00:28:17,550 --> 00:28:20,870
had the personality of somebody that just like,

445
00:28:21,670 --> 00:28:25,110
would just love. It, you know, Want to be the star.

446
00:28:25,670 --> 00:28:29,430
Yeah. And I'd like, never really, like, felt that

447
00:28:29,430 --> 00:28:33,110
way. And like, I still don't like, I think that like, I, I'm

448
00:28:33,750 --> 00:28:36,150
always thinking about my relationship to

449
00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:42,580
myself and the environment that I'm in and

450
00:28:42,900 --> 00:28:46,740
how does that affect how I see

451
00:28:46,740 --> 00:28:50,420
others and, you know, see myself and very like,

452
00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:56,020
connected to this plane, you

453
00:28:56,020 --> 00:28:59,780
know, because I think that like a lot of our, the younger generation just got

454
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:03,340
sold on like, a lot of things that just like,

455
00:29:03,340 --> 00:29:07,180
aren't real. Like. Well, yeah, you grew up in a world of

456
00:29:07,180 --> 00:29:10,660
Instagram and Tick Tock and everyone's life looks perfect all the time. It's like,

457
00:29:10,740 --> 00:29:14,500
yeah, you know, exactly. And it's. But it's

458
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:16,180
like I've always just kind of been like.

459
00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:21,820
Like when I was younger and I was a kid, like, yeah, there were artists

460
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:25,140
that I looked up to that I definitely idolized. But

461
00:29:26,500 --> 00:29:30,100
I don't know, maybe it's just part of, you know, one, it's

462
00:29:31,410 --> 00:29:34,570
being the age that I am and, you know, maturing and then the second is

463
00:29:34,570 --> 00:29:38,130
like being in it where it's just feels like it's not

464
00:29:38,210 --> 00:29:41,250
good for society, you know,

465
00:29:41,890 --> 00:29:45,690
that's my take. I think

466
00:29:45,690 --> 00:29:49,410
it's also like, for like, you know, real people. Does that make

467
00:29:49,410 --> 00:29:52,690
sense? Like, yeah, I think, like, wanting.

468
00:29:55,410 --> 00:29:56,050
Wanting.

469
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:03,240
I don't know. I don't really know how to explain it that well, but.

470
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:08,280
Yeah. Can you tell me, do you remember where, where I was?

471
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:11,920
Yeah, yeah. No, I, I, again, I don't really ask a whole lot of questions.

472
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:14,480
It's just kind of. We're talking. I think I said, like, how did you, like,

473
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:17,400
once you got the news that you got lost, you know, that,

474
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:21,320
that you had lost a deal with the label and you're in, in London and

475
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,130
it's like, are you like, at that point, like, did

476
00:30:25,130 --> 00:30:28,690
you think you wanted to continue doing music? Like, did you know that this. Yeah,

477
00:30:28,690 --> 00:30:31,410
you still were gonna keep doing this and like, obviously

478
00:30:32,610 --> 00:30:35,810
it all worked out and you had another massive

479
00:30:36,210 --> 00:30:39,650
song, you know, after the fact. But like, at that point, were you kind of

480
00:30:39,650 --> 00:30:42,330
defeated or were you just like, I Just need to get out of here, get

481
00:30:42,330 --> 00:30:45,810
home and start over. I, I

482
00:30:45,810 --> 00:30:48,210
definitely was experiencing

483
00:30:50,380 --> 00:30:54,180
that, you know, defeat and heartbreak. There's a song in the Heights

484
00:30:54,180 --> 00:30:57,740
called, I think it's Breathe, but that's like,

485
00:30:58,460 --> 00:31:01,100
I listened to it right after I love in the Heights

486
00:31:01,980 --> 00:31:05,580
and it's exactly that song. I'm just feeling like,

487
00:31:06,380 --> 00:31:10,140
yeah, I had a lot of potential.

488
00:31:10,460 --> 00:31:13,020
I just felt like I had a lot of potential and

489
00:31:14,790 --> 00:31:17,910
you know, it didn't, it didn't

490
00:31:18,870 --> 00:31:21,350
work out. And at the end of the day, like, I'm a,

491
00:31:24,230 --> 00:31:27,830
I'm a number, you know, And I think that really, really

492
00:31:27,830 --> 00:31:31,030
hurt to kind of really wake up and, and

493
00:31:33,430 --> 00:31:36,870
just realize like, you're, you're a number,

494
00:31:37,110 --> 00:31:39,350
you know, it was a business

495
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:44,400
proposition and then didn't, you know, and it's like I, I,

496
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,880
I gave some of my most

497
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:51,440
vulnerable, like,

498
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:54,080
stories and

499
00:31:57,120 --> 00:32:00,000
I don't know, it was, it was a lot, it was a lot to, to

500
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:03,440
accept and I did. And

501
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:07,680
when I started to it, you know, I came from

502
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:11,600
moving back in with my parents and

503
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,120
I taught myself how to record and produce. There was a lot of

504
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,800
Reddit and YouTube and calling my friends. Like I called, you

505
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:25,360
know, Jen sometimes who made the EP with me, and

506
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,360
you know, she's incredible. She's like very like, you know, studio

507
00:32:29,360 --> 00:32:32,810
badass. I did everything in my bedroom, you know,

508
00:32:33,050 --> 00:32:36,570
and I talked to Aidan

509
00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:40,690
and I met Noah Weinman. There's a lot of different, like, key

510
00:32:40,690 --> 00:32:44,290
people and my friend Eric, he was the first person actually that really

511
00:32:44,290 --> 00:32:47,930
helped me just wrap my mind around

512
00:32:47,930 --> 00:32:51,530
recording and producing. And so

513
00:32:51,530 --> 00:32:54,330
I, I had friends that I could call and I had

514
00:32:55,370 --> 00:32:59,050
a lot of nights alone just spent on YouTube and

515
00:32:59,050 --> 00:33:02,720
like looking at all the different,

516
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,480
like, comparisons of, you know, different

517
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:10,360
equipment and, you know, realizing I actually didn't need that, a lot

518
00:33:10,360 --> 00:33:13,760
of that equipment. I did everything on a sure microphone for the most part.

519
00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:19,240
And you could still make things sound really big. Like there's just so many things

520
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:22,520
that I learned along the way that I didn't know. And I think that it

521
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:26,200
was so nerve wracking because I really did not know what I was

522
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,520
doing. Like, I truly like, yes, I know how to

523
00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,280
record my vocals and Ableton and click play and like

524
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:38,720
pan, you know, but like, I didn't really understand how to make

525
00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:40,880
things sound good. And

526
00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:45,920
I was blown away at how quickly I

527
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:49,840
started to. And it made sense because also I'm, I'm still in a way

528
00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:53,560
producing alongside other producers. I always have

529
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:57,200
been, but, you know, I'm kind of like I

530
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,720
wasn't doing it. I wasn't engineering things

531
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,520
except for my vocals for the most part. But then getting involved on

532
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:08,320
things like learning how to record guitars and the way that

533
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:11,960
I. That I like to do them the whole entire. Like, this album

534
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:16,120
at the beach, in every life is a science project. It's an experiment.

535
00:34:16,600 --> 00:34:20,360
Wow. Did you did a lot of those songs that you were starting off or,

536
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,890
like, at your house, make like those original recordings made the

537
00:34:23,890 --> 00:34:27,570
album? Yeah, yeah. Most of them are the original recordings.

538
00:34:27,650 --> 00:34:31,090
Like, all of them.

539
00:34:31,730 --> 00:34:34,530
Wow. All of them, except for the chemistry was the only one that

540
00:34:35,170 --> 00:34:38,810
Aiden and I made that in his studio in la, part of it. And then

541
00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:41,890
we finished it in my house. That was like half and half,

542
00:34:42,450 --> 00:34:46,250
but in normalcy. Also, I made with eight with

543
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:49,819
Noah and his. It's like his studio

544
00:34:49,819 --> 00:34:53,259
bedroom kind of thing. Like, similar setup to mine, maybe a little bit more

545
00:34:53,259 --> 00:34:56,739
robust. Wow. But everything

546
00:34:57,619 --> 00:35:01,219
in my bedroom, you know. So you got home.

547
00:35:01,219 --> 00:35:05,059
Yeah, you got home and then started learning, right? Learning how to engineer,

548
00:35:05,059 --> 00:35:08,499
learning how to record. And then when you started writing your songs,

549
00:35:09,059 --> 00:35:12,779
did you, like, realize it was becoming an album? Like, how long

550
00:35:12,779 --> 00:35:16,180
did this process kind of take you? I

551
00:35:17,700 --> 00:35:21,460
wanted it to be an album, but I was kind of like. It was kind

552
00:35:21,460 --> 00:35:24,780
of like a time where, like, my team was like, you know, albums are really

553
00:35:24,780 --> 00:35:28,420
big deal, sweetie, you know, and, like, you're not

554
00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:32,060
there yet. And it's like, if I

555
00:35:32,060 --> 00:35:35,140
don't put out a damn album, I'm gonna lose my mind.

556
00:35:36,980 --> 00:35:40,580
But no, I definitely was like, this is coming to.

557
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,400
This is coming to be something. We're just throwing. We're just doing

558
00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:48,320
singles right now. And I was having a lot of fun. Like, I like that

559
00:35:48,320 --> 00:35:51,400
I was taking my piece. I needed to, because what the hell am I waiting

560
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,960
around for? Like, yeah, I'm gonna put out. And every and every

561
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:58,400
artist has their own way of doing things that makes

562
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:02,400
their. Their storytelling and their delivery

563
00:36:02,480 --> 00:36:06,240
feel what is best and right

564
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:10,040
to them. So I totally respect and understand however people choose to roll out their

565
00:36:10,040 --> 00:36:13,800
music. I was in a case where, like, I can't

566
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:17,360
just put out an album and expect everybody to, like, be like, that was

567
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:21,160
great. Like, imagine if I put out an entire album, no one

568
00:36:21,160 --> 00:36:24,880
would have ever heard any of this music, most likely, you

569
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:28,600
know, so it's like the process of, okay, I'm just gonna put one foot in

570
00:36:28,600 --> 00:36:32,360
front of the other as I go. Please be rude. Was an example

571
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:36,040
of, like, the joy. Like, the

572
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,570
childlike joy that you can have is.

573
00:36:40,290 --> 00:36:44,130
Is incredible, you know, And I had. I Had lost that kind of

574
00:36:45,330 --> 00:36:49,090
that passion and that lust for music because I

575
00:36:49,090 --> 00:36:52,890
was just so. Like, I was not into. Let me get in

576
00:36:52,890 --> 00:36:56,530
this session. Let me get in a session. And like,

577
00:36:57,730 --> 00:37:01,370
it just was uninspiring to me. Even though I, like, made a lot of

578
00:37:01,370 --> 00:37:04,980
great friends through it, Even if we made a great song together, like, nothing.

579
00:37:04,980 --> 00:37:08,820
Like, it just. It wasn't my. That

580
00:37:08,820 --> 00:37:12,260
wasn't gonna be my full potential. That wasn't gonna be my. My highest form of

581
00:37:12,260 --> 00:37:16,060
creating, you know? And I only learned that by like pressing buttons,

582
00:37:16,060 --> 00:37:19,740
random buttons, until I realized what they meant, you know?

583
00:37:19,900 --> 00:37:22,940
And like, it was so exciting. Like, I.

584
00:37:24,060 --> 00:37:27,660
I just. I remember being in my room

585
00:37:27,660 --> 00:37:31,470
at 2am and recording

586
00:37:31,470 --> 00:37:35,030
something and then hearing it back and being like, is this sound good?

587
00:37:35,030 --> 00:37:38,750
Like, does this sound good? It's like nothing like it. There's

588
00:37:38,750 --> 00:37:42,430
a sense of just like. It's like. It's a

589
00:37:42,430 --> 00:37:45,870
feeling of power, but it's like a healthy power, you know, it's like a feeling

590
00:37:45,870 --> 00:37:49,670
of like, I don't know, like my finger. Like my fingers are on fire.

591
00:37:49,670 --> 00:37:53,110
Like I could just run around the room. I don't know.

592
00:37:54,790 --> 00:37:58,180
Well, yeah, it must have been Phil. Pretty good though, to coming even with

593
00:37:58,180 --> 00:38:02,020
normalcy or Please, please be rude. Like, you put these songs out and

594
00:38:02,020 --> 00:38:05,740
they. And they do. Well, it wasn't like that. You know, you

595
00:38:05,740 --> 00:38:09,580
came back and no one care. It was like you had left the label

596
00:38:09,580 --> 00:38:12,820
and all that things. And then you still put these songs out and then it's

597
00:38:12,820 --> 00:38:16,660
still, you know, they do. Really? Yeah. Good numbers. That must have been

598
00:38:16,660 --> 00:38:19,980
pretty validating. For sure. I think it was like,

599
00:38:20,700 --> 00:38:23,840
also, I feel like all

600
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:28,640
suspending your expectation and disbelief is

601
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:33,840
someone can tell you to do that. But it's just one of the things that,

602
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:37,600
like, there is a surrender that happens on your own body's accord.

603
00:38:38,320 --> 00:38:42,000
And I think I had reached that moment of

604
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,680
being like, yeah, I don't care. Like,

605
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:50,110
I just don't. I don't. I don't care

606
00:38:52,110 --> 00:38:54,990
because I'm here to

607
00:38:56,990 --> 00:39:00,670
create. And I know that

608
00:39:00,670 --> 00:39:03,710
this entire time I've had a community

609
00:39:04,590 --> 00:39:08,270
that's really enjoyed my music. And I was so

610
00:39:08,270 --> 00:39:10,910
focused on the

611
00:39:12,510 --> 00:39:15,710
suits or whoever that I was dealing with constantly

612
00:39:16,570 --> 00:39:19,530
that I did not have a direct relationship with my community.

613
00:39:20,970 --> 00:39:24,650
And when all that noise is gone,

614
00:39:25,930 --> 00:39:29,490
you see the beautiful. The

615
00:39:29,490 --> 00:39:33,330
beautiful gems and rubies in front of you. So I spent a lot

616
00:39:33,330 --> 00:39:36,730
of time just connecting with my community.

617
00:39:37,290 --> 00:39:40,410
And that was also something that was very

618
00:39:40,970 --> 00:39:44,680
healing and fulfilling to me. And of course, everything

619
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,520
that's, you know, where things have Grown now is incredible to

620
00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:52,040
see. Sure. But I feel just as

621
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:55,640
loved, you know, I really feel like I. Something

622
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:59,880
in my perspective in what

623
00:40:01,720 --> 00:40:05,160
audience means to me and the connection that we have

624
00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:10,200
that was healed in the moment of. Away from all this stuff.

625
00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:12,350
So it's not like I feel. I'm.

626
00:40:14,430 --> 00:40:17,470
I'm not. There's nothing overpowering

627
00:40:17,950 --> 00:40:21,670
the real reason why we're here. And that's. That's

628
00:40:21,670 --> 00:40:24,590
really beautiful to me. And it was super important because I don't think I was

629
00:40:24,590 --> 00:40:28,030
mature enough. I wasn't ready for this

630
00:40:28,270 --> 00:40:31,990
chapter of my life. There was. I wasn't ready for it. Yeah.

631
00:40:31,990 --> 00:40:35,550
I mean, yeah, I was gonna say. Because then you. Sailor Song is just.

632
00:40:35,870 --> 00:40:39,710
It's the biggest record you've put out. And that was after, like, you had already.

633
00:40:40,230 --> 00:40:43,710
It seems like you've already done the healing process and you reach. You got back

634
00:40:43,710 --> 00:40:47,390
with your community and you started to learn how to record your own songs. And

635
00:40:47,390 --> 00:40:50,790
then this next even bigger moment happens for you.

636
00:40:52,470 --> 00:40:53,830
Yeah, it was.

637
00:40:56,390 --> 00:40:59,670
It's so crazy. I think it's like it's almost a year. I guess I don't

638
00:40:59,670 --> 00:41:03,510
have really a concept of time. We're entering summer, May, June, July.

639
00:41:03,510 --> 00:41:07,290
Okay, so it was July, like third. Something like that.

640
00:41:07,290 --> 00:41:10,770
I like, shared Sailor Song before. I had, like, done that little

641
00:41:10,770 --> 00:41:12,810
acoustic thing online too.

642
00:41:15,770 --> 00:41:17,290
I definitely did not have any.

643
00:41:19,210 --> 00:41:22,970
Anything of the sort, except for I love Sailor Song. I wrote

644
00:41:22,970 --> 00:41:26,690
it and when I recorded it, you know, send it to my

645
00:41:26,690 --> 00:41:30,370
friends, as I did with most of the songs at the

646
00:41:30,370 --> 00:41:32,890
time. Every time I was making things all the time,

647
00:41:34,140 --> 00:41:36,700
and I was like, just

648
00:41:37,740 --> 00:41:41,460
high. I was just high off of making music

649
00:41:41,460 --> 00:41:45,220
that I loved. And this was no

650
00:41:45,220 --> 00:41:48,060
different, you know, dancing and

651
00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:53,100
sending it to my friends and, you know, talking. I remember talking to my

652
00:41:53,100 --> 00:41:56,940
good friend Taimi about it, and we were

653
00:41:56,940 --> 00:42:00,240
just going back and forth about the song and they were like,

654
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:06,120
just so in love with it, you know, and it's so

655
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:09,840
amazing to be aware of something so special and, like, what it means to you

656
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:13,440
and then for that to happen because it makes sense to me

657
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:16,080
because it was so loved. But,

658
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,640
like, I don't know. I would have. It would have just been. It would have

659
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:24,280
been as fulfilling, you know, I think just like

660
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,800
my concept, I guess I'll fulfillment, like.

661
00:42:28,120 --> 00:42:30,680
And I think another piece of. It's like, I'm aware that it could go away,

662
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:34,200
like, you know, as incredible and

663
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:38,280
kind of the path that I believe I'm on is

664
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:42,440
wonderful. And it's something that's. There's an opportunity to really

665
00:42:42,600 --> 00:42:46,440
Connect with others and impact others and you know, especially with things on, on,

666
00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,880
you know, heavier topics like grief. That means so much to me.

667
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:54,130
But I also know that anything can happen and

668
00:42:54,770 --> 00:42:58,490
you know, life is unpredictable, it's short, you know, you

669
00:42:58,490 --> 00:43:00,770
don't, there's so many twists and turns of

670
00:43:02,290 --> 00:43:05,890
the business and I know ultimately that my,

671
00:43:06,690 --> 00:43:10,410
the thing that means the most to me is just knowing that I'm also loved

672
00:43:10,410 --> 00:43:14,050
by the people around me and my, my

673
00:43:14,050 --> 00:43:17,490
family and my friends and my dogs. And

674
00:43:18,170 --> 00:43:21,690
that's kind of like the last standing thing, I think. So

675
00:43:22,810 --> 00:43:26,490
it's, it's a different, it's a different world to be in now with

676
00:43:26,490 --> 00:43:30,290
this, you know. And it's also interesting too because like

677
00:43:30,290 --> 00:43:34,090
now I'm on tour a lot and so your world

678
00:43:34,090 --> 00:43:37,650
kind of becomes smaller in some sort of sense with the people that you are

679
00:43:37,650 --> 00:43:41,450
around. I'm grateful because my family travels with me, so that's amazing.

680
00:43:41,930 --> 00:43:45,680
Yeah. So you know, they're very involved in my life but you

681
00:43:45,680 --> 00:43:49,040
know, it's like, it's important

682
00:43:49,360 --> 00:43:52,960
for me to one

683
00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:56,720
just like take care of my well being and my health and my sleep and

684
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:01,120
all those different things. But also make sure that I'm staying in touch with

685
00:44:01,520 --> 00:44:05,320
the people that matter to me. Which it's, it's a lot to

686
00:44:05,320 --> 00:44:08,880
balance for sure. Oh yeah, definitely. Yeah. Oh my

687
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,400
gosh. Well, the album is amazing. I,

688
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,200
I, I, it's crazy that you did it all kind

689
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:19,600
of yourself. I mean that I would have never guessed that going into the conversation.

690
00:44:19,680 --> 00:44:23,280
That's so cool that you did that. I think Survivor's Guild is

691
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:27,200
such a deep song. Like that was a very

692
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,480
vulnerable one for you to put out. But yeah,

693
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:34,080
yeah, I'm sure that was a rough one to write.

694
00:44:35,120 --> 00:44:38,890
Yeah, I mean it came to me pretty, it

695
00:44:38,890 --> 00:44:42,730
was like right there, Aiden had come up with these chords, I had heard

696
00:44:42,730 --> 00:44:46,450
them. I was like, Aiden, what are those chords? It's

697
00:44:46,450 --> 00:44:50,250
like Gigi, like Aiden and he gave it to me.

698
00:44:51,210 --> 00:44:55,010
So. Thank you, Aiden. Well, I already wrote to it. I was like, I was

699
00:44:55,010 --> 00:44:58,730
like, by the way, I wrote to your chords because they're like very interesting

700
00:44:58,730 --> 00:45:02,530
chords. They're not, it's not just like a kind of, you know, a basic

701
00:45:02,530 --> 00:45:05,930
center for chords. Chord progression. It's a really cool chord

702
00:45:05,930 --> 00:45:09,770
progression. And he heard it, he was like, yeah, we gotta record this,

703
00:45:09,770 --> 00:45:13,610
you know, and it just,

704
00:45:15,290 --> 00:45:19,010
it flow, it just flowed. That one just flowed. I think it

705
00:45:19,010 --> 00:45:22,250
was like over time I've kind of seen

706
00:45:24,010 --> 00:45:27,690
and especially the year where I was away from the music world

707
00:45:29,700 --> 00:45:31,940
that's where I really started to see a lot of my,

708
00:45:33,700 --> 00:45:36,340
like, the deconstruction of Christianity

709
00:45:37,780 --> 00:45:41,620
and my upbringing and where that

710
00:45:41,700 --> 00:45:45,420
intersects with my grief. I don't know. It's like

711
00:45:45,420 --> 00:45:49,220
a big explosion. Yeah. And so I think.

712
00:45:49,220 --> 00:45:51,940
I mean, a lot of the album is about that. And, like, there is that

713
00:45:51,940 --> 00:45:55,630
love factor, that very pure. That pure kind of

714
00:45:55,630 --> 00:45:58,910
love piece of it all where, like,

715
00:45:59,070 --> 00:46:02,870
I'm going through dealing with the grief and

716
00:46:02,870 --> 00:46:06,670
the deconstructed. Deconstructing. But then there's this

717
00:46:07,790 --> 00:46:10,670
pillar. It's just something I can hold on to

718
00:46:11,550 --> 00:46:15,350
throughout all of it. But,

719
00:46:15,350 --> 00:46:17,630
yeah, definitely. It was definitely a heavy one.

720
00:46:19,150 --> 00:46:22,990
Do you feel like it's therapeutic when you get these songs out like that? Oh,

721
00:46:22,990 --> 00:46:26,670
my gosh, yes. I remember when I wrote Fable, I was like, thank freaking

722
00:46:26,670 --> 00:46:30,350
God. I needed to get this one up because

723
00:46:30,350 --> 00:46:33,310
it's more so, like, I think with grief. Like,

724
00:46:35,950 --> 00:46:39,550
it's taken me years and years to understand

725
00:46:40,270 --> 00:46:42,270
or to see the way.

726
00:46:44,670 --> 00:46:48,430
See who I would become. Because when my sister passed

727
00:46:48,430 --> 00:46:51,900
away, I remember this pastor was at my house,

728
00:46:51,980 --> 00:46:55,660
and he told me this thing,

729
00:46:55,660 --> 00:46:58,820
and I was so angry. I was like, I wanted this man out of my

730
00:46:58,820 --> 00:47:01,580
house. Like, get the hell out of my house.

731
00:47:03,020 --> 00:47:05,580
But he said, how you handle your grief

732
00:47:06,780 --> 00:47:09,740
right now will affect you for the rest of your life.

733
00:47:10,380 --> 00:47:14,140
It's going to affect you. Your relationships

734
00:47:14,140 --> 00:47:17,860
is going to affect, you know, your work. It's going to affect your future

735
00:47:17,860 --> 00:47:21,140
children. It's going to affect your spouse,

736
00:47:22,740 --> 00:47:26,580
everything. It's going to affect everything in your life.

737
00:47:26,980 --> 00:47:29,780
So how you deal with it is so important.

738
00:47:31,460 --> 00:47:35,220
And I'm like, I literally. My sister died today. You know

739
00:47:35,220 --> 00:47:39,060
what I mean? And I'm like, you're that heavy thing. I was like, yes,

740
00:47:39,220 --> 00:47:42,980
this is great. This is exactly it. Like, I have more responsibility.

741
00:47:43,570 --> 00:47:47,330
Yes. And I feel like as much as it was,

742
00:47:49,970 --> 00:47:52,570
maybe he didn't even need to tell me that, like, in the grand scheme, because

743
00:47:52,570 --> 00:47:55,810
I would have figured it out, therapy and stuff, but

744
00:47:57,010 --> 00:48:00,290
I never forgot it. And I think that. I think about that

745
00:48:00,690 --> 00:48:04,330
as I've gone from the early 20s to now

746
00:48:04,330 --> 00:48:08,090
25 to I'm sure when

747
00:48:08,090 --> 00:48:11,820
I'm 30, how my grief changes and how

748
00:48:11,820 --> 00:48:14,940
it affects how I approach life.

749
00:48:15,900 --> 00:48:19,660
And it's very. It's

750
00:48:19,660 --> 00:48:23,340
very weird because it follows you

751
00:48:23,340 --> 00:48:26,980
and it changes and evolves. And, like, sometimes,

752
00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:30,220
like, I think, like, maybe I'm like, I won't.

753
00:48:32,620 --> 00:48:36,260
There's, like, that longing and that loss that exists, and then

754
00:48:36,260 --> 00:48:39,980
there's, like, the harrowing, dark side of it, and then there's, like,

755
00:48:40,300 --> 00:48:43,420
okay. I'm

756
00:48:45,260 --> 00:48:48,900
dealing with new concerns based upon my age. I'm dealing with

757
00:48:48,900 --> 00:48:51,900
new fears based upon my age. I. You know,

758
00:48:52,940 --> 00:48:56,740
it just does things to you. Like. Just like, anything. Like, I

759
00:48:56,740 --> 00:49:00,500
think, like, if it's, like, a physical trauma or you're like,

760
00:49:00,500 --> 00:49:03,660
you know, something crazy happens. And, like, those people who get, like,

761
00:49:03,980 --> 00:49:07,670
diseases year. Years later after, like, it's the

762
00:49:07,670 --> 00:49:11,070
progression of how a certain trauma changes you.

763
00:49:11,790 --> 00:49:15,470
And, you know, I'm in therapy for that, but I think there's

764
00:49:15,470 --> 00:49:19,190
only so much you can do. And I think something like

765
00:49:19,190 --> 00:49:22,750
the writing process of it, like, I've seen the way the things that I write

766
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:26,510
about have changed the way that I. There were things that

767
00:49:27,310 --> 00:49:30,990
I would have just never imagined

768
00:49:31,460 --> 00:49:34,500
or could have fathomed, and

769
00:49:35,940 --> 00:49:39,740
I. It had to be five years later to articulate it. Like, imagine,

770
00:49:39,740 --> 00:49:42,740
like, it's, like, pulling through.

771
00:49:44,180 --> 00:49:47,980
Like, if there was just, like, this big building that collapsed or

772
00:49:47,980 --> 00:49:51,220
something. You have to find every single

773
00:49:52,020 --> 00:49:55,620
piece of it, you know, or whatever they do. I don't know what they do,

774
00:49:55,620 --> 00:49:59,470
but it's like, I had to find

775
00:49:59,790 --> 00:50:02,990
it all. And there are things I still haven't found yet. And so there's a

776
00:50:02,990 --> 00:50:06,790
frustration of, like, the anticipatory grief that

777
00:50:06,790 --> 00:50:10,150
you haven't experienced yet. Like a wedding day, for example. Like,

778
00:50:10,150 --> 00:50:13,710
anybody who's lost their. Lost their parent, you

779
00:50:13,710 --> 00:50:17,390
know, no matter how old they are, they. They know that that day is going

780
00:50:17,390 --> 00:50:20,990
to come someday and that living in that purgatory

781
00:50:21,070 --> 00:50:24,880
is just a different kind of heartbreak. It's still a

782
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,680
heartbreak versus them actually getting married on that day, and their

783
00:50:29,000 --> 00:50:32,680
parent is walking them down the aisle, you know, So I think it's,

784
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,360
like, very.

785
00:50:36,040 --> 00:50:39,760
Songwriting is the greatest gift that

786
00:50:39,760 --> 00:50:43,480
I've been given, one of the greatest gifts, I think,

787
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:46,840
you know, people. And, like, my. The people in my life come first.

788
00:50:47,080 --> 00:50:50,850
But that is the. The personal

789
00:50:50,930 --> 00:50:54,570
gift of being able to

790
00:50:54,570 --> 00:50:58,050
understand things. Like, sometimes I understand

791
00:50:58,210 --> 00:51:01,330
things because I wrote about it, and I look back at what I wrote. I'm

792
00:51:01,330 --> 00:51:03,570
like, oh. And

793
00:51:05,570 --> 00:51:09,330
being able to also package it in a way that's satisfying to me because

794
00:51:09,330 --> 00:51:12,450
I just. That's how I am. And I love music, and I love

795
00:51:12,690 --> 00:51:16,530
hearing things in a way that's connected to the. The melody

796
00:51:16,530 --> 00:51:20,370
and the lyric and the rhyme. And, like, there's so many things that, like,

797
00:51:20,450 --> 00:51:21,890
make something that is so,

798
00:51:24,450 --> 00:51:28,130
like, such an annoyance to me and

799
00:51:28,210 --> 00:51:31,090
such a point of

800
00:51:31,890 --> 00:51:35,410
negativity and turning that into something beautiful and being like,

801
00:51:35,410 --> 00:51:38,650
yes. And then somebody else from the other side will be like, oh, my God.

802
00:51:38,650 --> 00:51:41,800
Like, that was so satisfying to me as well. So

803
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,320
it's a really big blessing to be able to have

804
00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:49,720
songwriting that helps me figure out

805
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,960
what I'm feeling. It's the. It's the biggest relief.

806
00:51:54,440 --> 00:51:58,240
It's like a massage. I love it. Well, I

807
00:51:58,240 --> 00:52:01,840
think the album. Excuse me. I think the album is incredible. And I

808
00:52:01,840 --> 00:52:05,520
appreciate your time, Gigi, for coming back and doing this. You're. You're so fun to

809
00:52:05,520 --> 00:52:09,210
talk to. So thank you for your time today. I have one more question.

810
00:52:09,210 --> 00:52:11,810
I asked you this last time, but I'm gonna ask it again if you have

811
00:52:11,810 --> 00:52:13,650
any advice for aspiring artists.

812
00:52:15,570 --> 00:52:17,890
I remember when you asked me that. I wonder what it said.

813
00:52:20,130 --> 00:52:23,770
I think it's just

814
00:52:23,770 --> 00:52:25,730
follow the thing that moves you

815
00:52:27,490 --> 00:52:30,610
and wherever you feel pulled to

816
00:52:31,570 --> 00:52:34,950
go there and find

817
00:52:38,230 --> 00:52:41,590
that. That reason

818
00:52:43,030 --> 00:52:46,710
that. That it means so much to you and,

819
00:52:50,070 --> 00:52:53,830
you know, do it for the love of it, you know? And if

820
00:52:53,830 --> 00:52:57,670
you feel like that's not kind of where you're at, I

821
00:52:57,670 --> 00:53:01,510
think it's important to evaluate maybe why, if it's a. If it's the circumstances,

822
00:53:01,590 --> 00:53:05,300
then. And there's nothing you can do about it than have

823
00:53:05,300 --> 00:53:09,060
grace for yourself. I think that having grace for yourself and

824
00:53:09,700 --> 00:53:13,460
knowing that things will fall as they're meant to is important. But

825
00:53:13,540 --> 00:53:17,300
most importantly, not every day is going to be a good day, and

826
00:53:17,540 --> 00:53:20,980
not every day is going to be a great creative day. But,

827
00:53:22,420 --> 00:53:26,060
you know, you're still an artist, and you still love it. Make as long as

828
00:53:26,060 --> 00:53:29,910
that. That the

829
00:53:29,910 --> 00:53:33,390
light can dim sometimes, but

830
00:53:33,470 --> 00:53:37,150
don't ever let it go out.

831
00:53:37,790 --> 00:53:38,750
That's the goal.

832
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,400
Backward, bring it backwards, bring it

833
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,720
back, bring it back.