BiB: Alexandra Savior - How Bipolar Disorder Shaped Her Most Raw and Honest Album Yet

0:09 Bringing it backwards Bringing it backwards Bringing it backwards Bringing it backwards Bringing it backwards Bringing it backwards. Hi. Hi. How are you? I'm doing good. How are you doing? I'm great. I appreciate you doing this. Thank you so much. Thank you. Sorry I've had a tough few weeks, so. I know I was all over the place before. Oh, no, it's all totally okay. Yeah. I think you were sick, right? Didn't you get sick? Yeah, and then I had a family thing.

0:49 I'm sorry. It's okay. Well, I appreciate you doing this. I'm Adam, and this is about you and your journey in music. And we'll talk about the. The album you have coming out, I think, like, next Friday, I think. Oh, shit. In May 16th. Is that next Friday? Oh, God. Coming up. It's happening. It is, it is. Well, I always kind of start off with, you know, where you grew up, where. Whereabouts were you born and raised? I was born in Portland, Oregon, and I grew up in the suburbs that are actually in Washington. It's called Vancouver, Washington. Okay. It's kind of like.

1:35 Yeah, the suburbs. The suburbs. What was it like growing up there? Rainy. It was very rainy, and there wasn't really anything to do, so I think that was good. I'm glad I grew up like that because it caters to creative, you know, to build creativity when you're young. Sure. Is Portland fairly close? Like, was that, like the. The big. The biggest city to you, or. Yeah, it's like 10 minutes away. Oh, wow. So you drive over the border. That's awesome. Yeah. My dog's here, so come on, say hi. Hi, dog. What's your dog's name? Marvin. He was obviously looking his butthole, so that's his. That's his vibe. That's amazing. Well, that's awesome. Do you come from a creative family? Like a musical household at all? My brother played guitar, and he was really good at it and.

2:38 And passionate about it. And, like, nobody in my family really was in my, like, you know, immediate family was an artist aside from my. My brother would write songs and stuff. But I have, like, an uncle who's a musician. He's really talented. And, like, my great grandma was a painter, and she wrote poems, and so we have. We have it, definitely. Yeah. Running. Running through. Was your brother older than you? Yeah, my parents had my brother when they were 16, 17.

3:19 Oh, wow. Okay. So he's seven years older than I am. Did you look up to him as far as, like, when he'd play guitar and write songs? Is that something that you Wanted to do? Yeah. I would, like, sneak into his room and try to read his songs that he was writing, but he has really bad handwriting, so I think that was a good way for me to not. Be able to read it. I'll never know what they were about. Oh, that's funny. Did you take, like, piano lessons or anything like that growing up? I did. I, I took piano lessons when I was, like, 8 and 9. Okay. And then I, I did a lot of stuff growing up, but I would always quit everything. I don't know why. I just always would quit. So I quit. And yeah. Music, obviously, you kept going. Was it, did you. When did you find, like, the passion for what you're doing now? Was it when you're younger? Yeah, I was really into, like, musical theater when I was little, and I, when I, I got bullied really bad in high school and I had to switch schools, and when I moved to the new school, they, they didn't have a theater program.

4:37 And so that's when I started to sing and, and think maybe I should, should do music in this capacity, you know? Oh, really? Okay. And then you were. Because you started doing covers, right? On, like, YouTube or early on. Yeah. Was that kind of how it all began for you, like, to get the courage to do that? That must have been. I mean, obviously you knew you're a good singer or you wouldn't have went on the camera and been like, here's me. But I guess. When do you start doing that? Like, when do you start doing. Was that when you had switched schools already? Yeah, I, I, I decided to do a talent show, which, you know. Oh, wow, that's a bold move. And so there was a girl in one of my classes who played piano named Summer Tong. And so we would, like, just hang out after school, and she would play and I would sing, and we did the talent show. And then she one day was like, we should record this on the, our little digital camera. So we recorded it, and she uploaded it to YouTube.

5:53 Wow. What song did you do for the talent show? I did someone like you. Oh, really? I was definitely 15. Sure. That's awesome. And then from that did. Was she working with you throughout your YouTube cover things or did quickly. Did you just start doing it yourself? Yeah, I did a little bit with my brother as well. Oh, cool. Yeah. And then you had a shout out from Courtney love at, like, 17 years old, which must have been insane. Yeah, I was actually 16, which was. I think I'm 16.

6:36 And yeah, that was just, it was all crazy because I never really wanted to be a musician or be a singer or in like a serious way. I thought that I would be a painter. Oh, really? Yeah. And so when that happened, everybody was like, this is not normal. Like you, you know, like, you should probably try to do this. And I sort of. Yeah, I went to New York and I performed at Fashion Week when I was 17. Was that due to that. Her kind of shouting you out on the comment? Yeah, the COVID Like, you know, at the time it was like 2011, I guess 2010. It's like social media, YouTube and stuff. It wasn't really what it is now. So. Yeah, I remember it got like a thousand watches after we, like a couple days after. And that was like crazy because, like, yeah, I didn't know a thousand people, so I thought that was weird because. Yeah, a thousand people saw this video, right? Yeah.

7:52 And a manager called me from New York and it was Courtney Love's manager. And geez, that's so wild. Yeah. And then at 17, you're like. Or you said you're 16 or 17 at that time. And then you fly to New York and do in play Fashion Week. Was that nerve wracking? Yeah, I remember like begging my mom to let me have a Xanax. It's like, no. Did you just do. At that point, were you writing your own songs or did you just do a bunch of covers that when you performed there? Yeah, I started writing songs.

8:35 Actually, my first song I ever wrote was when I was 14. Excuse me. And then I wrote some songs with like friends that I had that were musicians. Okay. And then I like sang some other person song that was like a pop writer from New York at the Fashion Week thing. Okay. And then from there, did you like, did her manager help you out? Like, did you continue working with him? I did. I. I was still signed with that management company until2015, I think. Oh, wow. Yeah. So it was like, I guess five years, five or six years. So when you're working with them, didn't they. Then you started. That's when you put out your first album, Right. Were you working because you ended up getting signed a major label, right? Yeah. I mean, so did stuff must have moved pretty quickly then once you kind of had that door open for you, kind of. But it was like I was still in school and my mom was like, you have to graduate from high school. But it was like, I would. I almost didn't graduate because I had so many apps. I had 150 days missed because I was like, I was going to New York and L. A. And I started writing with Linda Perry.

10:05 That's so wild. Yeah. And everybody probably, like, hated me. I think all my friends were. Oh, they're all just. Now they're like, now they feel bad for me. At the time, it seemed cool. Sure. Wow. Okay, so you're writing with her and then you ended up working on the first album. You worked with, like, Alex Turner, right? Yeah. So I already signed to Columbia and then, like, was essentially writing. I was going to London a lot because I was working with a lot of. Of writers out there.

10:48 What was that? I mean, geez. To be. You get signed, you're. You're graduating high school, and then you're working with Linda Perry, you're still in high school, and then you get. You're signed to a major label, they're flying you to London. I mean, that is such a trip to be that young and kind of have all that happening. Yeah. So the day after I graduated, which was the day after I turned 18, I graduated on my birthday. Thank you. For a couple days around then. And then I. I literally got on a plane and flew to London by myself and to go work with all these producers. Like, a lot of them had worked with, like, Adele and, like, Rihanna. And I think that the. The plan, unbeknownst to me, it was that I would be, like, a pop star. And.

11:35 And. But then I landed and I was just like, I'm a little girl. Like, I don't know how to get around a city. Like, sure, I drive my car around vacant parking lots and, like, go to Wendy's. That's like, my, like, life experience as an adult. Yeah. And so it was really kind of overwhelming, but also just like, the best time of my life in really just finding myself and being away from everybody and not knowing anyone and having to, like, figure out who I was. And once you put that first album out, do you, like, get put on tour?

12:18 Like, what's kind of, like the progression of that? Actually, it didn't get released until two out. Two hours, two years after it was finished. Wow. And I don't really know why that. Was, but that's a long delay. Yeah. So I kind of sat around for a couple years and made some little music videos and, you know, wanted to. I wanted to be in charge of, like, the art direction of the album. But I was also, like, I had, like, a high school level, like, art education and skill set. So it was just sort of like figuring out as I.

13:08 As I went along, I guess the. Art for that Album is awesome. The COVID Yeah, with the. The flower. I think it's such a cool cover. Did you. Was that part. You got the. You got to have that direction on that album? Yeah, for the. For the. For the visuals. I did, but it was. I painted that, like, in my kitchen. Oh, really? You did that? That's amazing. Wow. Yes. Of. So after two years or whatever, later, after the album comes out, is that when they. Is the label, like, okay, we're gonna put you on the road. Like, let's start pushing this. This record. Or were you already working on, like, the next album at that point?

13:56 I mean, I had written. I started writing again, but I wasn't really thinking about the next album until probably, like, 2016, 2000. Yeah, 2017. We, like, it was very minimal amount of touring. Like, I really didn't play that many shows. But yeah, once, you know, once the touring seemed like it was kind of phasing out, my, like, manager quit and I got dropped. And then at that point, I was living at home with my mom, so I was writing a lot on my own and. And started to work on the Archer more. Seriously.

14:48 Yeah. Was that, like. I mean, getting dropped and, you know, you lose your manager and all this. Did you kind of feel like. Is this. Did you feel, like, defeated at that point? Or do you want to keep moving forward? Or was it like, is this going to work out? Like, is this what I should be doing? Like, did you ever question any of that? I think I was, like, living in Portland and, like, not. Like, I was not. I had really distanced myself from, like, the industry just because I had had a lot of really negative experiences. And I felt like I just needed to, like, be home in my, like, hometown and not have to think about all of that for, like, the first time in my, like, life, basically. Yeah. You know, from high school. And then you're right out, right into this massive thing.

15:46 Yeah. So I wasn't really thinking about it. Like, I knew I still was, like, really diligently, like, working on the songs, and I had a band and I was performing around local Portland venues. But I. I got. So my friend Brian, who's also Danger Mouse, called me and asked if I would come and sing on a Broken Bells track with. James Mercer. Right. Mercer. At his house. Yeah. Because I'd worked with Brian before, and the songs didn't get onto my first album because it was, you know, But. And it was because they were based in Portland, so. Because that's where James lives. And so I went over there and then Brian had opened a label and was like, will you send me the songs that you have? And then I did. And then he was. He flew me out to New York and I. I recorded it with Sam Cohen, who is also on the label as an artist, but is a really great producer. And so if it. If it hadn't been for that sort of chance encounter, I don't know, you know, where I would be. Right. I mean, to get a call from Danger Mouse and have him say, I'm working on this new project with, you know, James Mercer of the Shins and you.

17:17 I want you to sing on it. That must have been a huge moment in itself. Oh, yeah. I mean, it was cool. He. I. I really, like. I really respect James's, like, sense of melody. I think he has, like, really unique, interesting. And like, the Shins were obviously growing up, especially being from Portland, were like, yeah, huge. Like, the thing. So I was like, this is pretty cool. I think I like, called my brother and was like, whoa, this. But, you know, Brian, I've known for a long time, and it was nice because I've always want. I had always wanted to continue working with him.

18:02 Yeah. And then he signed you to his label, too, right? Yeah, and then I signed to 30th century. And. Yeah. And then the Pandemic happened. But. Yeah. Did you. Because you put the record out in 2020. Was that before the pandemic? Yeah, it was like January 10, 2020. So what's that like? I mean, you have this album out and then the world shuts down, so you can't really, again, do much. The first album, it takes two years to put out. So the touring you said was kind of minimal. And then this time around on the Archer, it's okay. I got, you know, I'm on 30th century, the danger Mouse is helping with this record, blah, blah, blah. And then you put it out and then the Pandemic hits. Yeah.

18:52 It's so funny because I feel like every time I've been saying this a lot, but, like, every time I release music, it's been really anticlimactic. And, like, that was a different version of being anti climax, I'd imagine. But at the same time, like, I. I have a hard time on tour. And so I think. I think we all. Everybody that I've talked to has been like, when the. When it first happened, and they were like, oh, hey, everybody. Like, be in your house for a couple weeks. We were all kind of like, okay, like, right. Like, I'll paint, I'll Paint my bedroom and, like, do some crafts and read a couple books. So, like, that's where I was at.

19:34 We'll flatten this curve in two weeks. Yeah, it's gonna be great. Everybody will be fine. Yeah. And then. Yeah, two years later down the line. Did you even have a chance to tour on that album? I. I had a tour that kept getting postponed that I ended up doing in, like, 2022, and it was just like, a few shows. And so, yeah, it was a weird one because I actually, I. I started doing these little paintings and selling them on depop. And so I was having, like. I was having all of this, like, all these interactions with fans and, like, literally writing people, like, letters and, like, I felt very involved with, like, the people that were listening to the record. And I was like. I just had, like, all these T shirts in my mom's basement, and I was, like, signing them and, like, packaging them up and sending them off and, like, with records and stuff. So it was. It was kind of a cool way for me to be able to interact with people and. And really feel like the music was being heard. But, you know, unfortunately, not in, like, the way that.

20:50 Not in a way of being able to perform. Right. But you're still able to. Yes. Keep in contact with your fans and, you know, how stoked are they? They get a shirt signed by you or whatever, you know, and you're chatting with them online or whatever. I mean, that's huge. It was fun. Yeah, it was nice. So going into this Beneath the Lily Pad album, tell me about, like, was this different. A different process or, you know, when do you start working on this? So I started. Well, the first song that I wrote that made it onto the record was meant to be on my last record. It's called Let Me out, and that I wrote in 2017, I think, like, when.

21:32 With. When I was touring my first album and then. Oh, wow. And then other than that. Yeah, I started. I had been writing a lot after I finished the Archer, and I kind of scrapped all of that stuff because I just, like, I felt like everything had changed so much, like, the minute that all that. So I felt like I'm in a totally different world, a totally different place, so I'm gonna just start over again. And then started writing. Started writing Beneath the Lily Pad. Then why did you decide to keep that song? It would just. Did you feel like it finally fit with the songs that you're writing now or for the album?

22:16 Yeah, it's like. It's a song that's like, Two parts. So it's like a two part song. And it's not like a traditional verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, whatever. So I don't think I knew how to, like, execute it properly before. And then I had been really, like, working on what I wanted the, like, vision to be for this album, and I felt like it. It applied to that. Okay. Yeah. Can you tell me about, like, what the album is about? Is there, like a through line for it?

22:58 Yeah, I mean, it's a very personal album and a lot of it has to do with my mental health problems and kind of like the dichotomy of having bipolar disorder and the depths of, like, depression and the, you know, extremes of mania and the psychosis that usually comes with mania for me. And I think I was just, like, processing it, being very isolated and having to, like, go through all of this. It made me see really what it is and what I am within it. And that's what the whole album's about, basically.

23:48 Wow. Do you. Did you feel like it was therapeutic to be able to write about it or not really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean. Cause it's like you write a song and then like, three years later you're like, oh, yeah, that's what that's about. Oh, you find yourself. Yeah. Figuring it out later down the line. Yeah, definitely. Interesting. Well, I love the records that you have out thus far. I think the Mothership is the newest one. Right? Yeah. Okay. And when it came to this album, like, did you work with different producers or do you work with the same people that you had on the Archer? I worked with Drew Erickson, who is actually my partner of six years. Oh, wow.

24:34 Yeah, we just, like. We were actually living in this room with a mini fridge and a microwave and a piano and probably almost killed each other. But also, you wrote the whole album. That room pretty much. Oh, my gosh. It was like kind of a. It just, like, seemed inevitable that it would happen that way. And I was really going through so much, like, emotional and, like, just turmoil with my. With my bipolar. And he really helped, like, kind of guide me through it and like, encouraged me to. To go into the studio and.

25:18 And really finish it and. And you know. So. So you did most of the demos. Yeah, the demos in there. And then you went and recorded it elsewhere? Yeah, we recorded at Valentine's Studio with a. Live. With a band, like, live to tape and. Really? Yeah, so which was a weird thing to do because everybody's wearing masks and like, we had, you know, it was like, still the pandemic. Ish. Oh, when you. So you recorded this a while ago? Not all of it, but okay, but some of it. Yeah. Yeah. We started it in 2021, but recorded it. We. I. I, like, was paying for it, so I couldn't pay to go in for two months into the studio, so we would have to go in and fragments.

26:13 So, yeah, it was like, over the course of two years, little, like, bits going. Wow, that's awesome. They did it to tape. I think that's really cool. And then the band was live, also. Live to tape. Yeah. Yeah. For most of it, except for the two singles, because at that point I had absolutely no money to pay a band. So recording all of it right now, That's really awesome, though. Very cool. What do you plan on touring this one? I think you have some. A couple dates coming up, right? Yeah, some, like, American dates in August, California dates, and we're doing, like, the Troubadour and Outside Lands. Oh, yeah. In San Francisco. Yeah.

27:05 Which is cool, because I've never been to that. That's a great festival. That's one of the better ones, I think. Oh, I'm excited. I love San Francisco. Yeah, it's a cool one. In the middle of Golden Gate Park. It's awesome. That's cool. Yeah. Well, I appreciate your time. Thank you so much for doing this. Yeah, thank you. Yeah. I have one more question for you before I let you go. I want to know if you have any advice for aspiring artists. You know what, actually, Brian slash Danger Mouse, he gave me advice, like, 10 years ago or probably more than that. And he was like, if you're ever stumped on, like, writing a song, just find, like, a song from that you love from the 60s or something and learn that. And then, like, buck the chords up a little bit and write a song over it, which is maybe, like, I'm not supposed to. It sounds like cheating, but it's really helped me a lot because, you know, it's sometimes like, you know, sometimes things just don't come. Come up out of nowhere. So that's always been a piece of advice that I've utilized a lot in my life.

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